Out Of Character

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Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 2:05am

Out Of Character

I want all of you out there to do me a favor. It’s not a particularly difficult one, or unreasonable one, either. If you could just do this one small thing for me, the amount of pain and agony you could prevent would be immeasurable.

The next time you sit at your keyboards or typewriters, or you have a piece of paper in front of you and it strikes your fancy to draw on it or write that novel or screenplay you’ve been talking about for years…please…just…just don’t.

People always talk about characters having a “life of their own” but those losers don’t really know how correct they are. Where do you think Harry and his friends were in-between books? What do you think the Street Fighter gang has been doing since the last game? Shit, it’s been like…shit it’s been a long time since the last game hot damn it.

When characters aren’t being written, or otherwise used, this all come to this place, the place I’m sitting at right now – Out Of Character.

Imagine a giant skyscraper, now imagine each floor being a different kind of bar or club. There’s a crazy rave floor for all the crack-headed Anime bitches, a dank hole in the wall for those pulp and noir characters, and the list goes on and on. Now it’s not like there’s anything stopping the fighting game characters from hanging out with the Disney characters, but the floor I’m on…we rarely get visitors here. We’re the saddest bunch in the building, the fucks that everyone both envies and pities.

This floor of the club I’m currently on is home to all of the characters that are almost always in rotation. With the fighting game characters it’s like “Yeah, well Tekken 6 is done, see you guys in three years” and they just chill out, but with us? We’re on call constantly.

A lot of the characters here are in monthly comic books or web comics, but a large majority of us are from something different entirely – Online RPGs. That’s right folks, pen and paper made the leap into the 20th Century and we’re the ones that have to pay the price. I and my friends are the ones that have to…

“…Dillon shut the fuck up.”

I said all that out loud didn’t I?

“Yes. Stop it.” whined Baby from her spot in the corner of our booth, nursing a margarita. She hasn’t been here as long as the rest of us so this whole process is still a bit overwhelming.

“So it’s like…god…okay…so it’s like we’re doing a set of missions where we have to fight ourselves from an alternate reality, and of course, they’re all evil. But…and here’s the worst part…since he didn’t feel like making a new damn account, I’m technically both myself, and my evil alternate self, and that doesn’t bug me. You know what does bug me though? He writes us both the same. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m reading the lines and actions of my good self or my evil self, and it’s just like…why can’t he just make me a villain?” she cries, gulping down the rest of her drink.

Poor girl, the newbies always cry.

“Baby.” spits Kidd.

I can tell by her tone that she’s not just calling the girl by her name; she’s making fun of her.

“You don’t have any right to whine, he’s done me worse than he’s done any of you. Right off the bat he creates me as a girl who was sexually assaulted by her teacher, then gets transformed into a mini-Hulk. The hurting people that followed was nice, but then he made me turn back, then I find out my pops is a drunk and my mother offed herself, then I get this dorky boyfriend…AND THEN I THROW MY LIFE AWAY FIGHTING MAGNETO! Off-panel at that, because he was at school or something, the shit is that?”

“And then there were all those stupid “Hey, it’s fucking Sailor Mars” jokes that got tossed my way because of the damn avatar he chose.”

It’s always the same rant with her.

“But you know, being “dead” wasn’t so bad. I got to chill here all day with Spider-man, and that guy knows some dirty ass jokes, but then…oh look, the Hellions are doing a week where anything they want can happens, let’s bring Kidd back…AS A GHOST! And not just any kind of ghost, a ghost written completely out of character. He wrote me like an asshole.”

I’m kind of offended now, he was actually writing her like me.

“And then…” she takes swig of tequila straight from the bottle. “…I find out my boyfriend’s bus started stopping on the other side of the street after I died, what kind of crap is that? It’s flattering yeah, that I was so amazing he had to turn after I died, but then I found out he banged some old British slut. Not cool.”

“Is it my turn yet!” complained Orchestra, slamming his fists down on the table.

Orc hangs out around here a lot and instead of doing the smart thing and socializing, he just drinks. By the time most of us show up here at night he’s already hung over, if not going on his third or fourth drunkenness. Usually he’s too drunk or passed out to rant, guess tonight is gonna be the night.

“My only problem with Jules is…*hic*…why can’t he…*hic*…write me as not a fruit? I mean *hic* do I talk like Thor, or Ned Flanders or Goliath from Gargoyles, or a Lord of the Rings lamer or something? My manner of speech is so incon…incon…”

He doesn’t so much pass out after that, as he does sort of just melt all over the table.

”Why do I even *hic* exist…”

Poor Orchestra, his freakish nature is too much for him to bear.

“What about you Dil?” asked Kidd, pointing at me. “You got anything to say before I go hook up with Spider-man?”

Oh don’t act so shocked. If you were Spider-man and a fourteen year old Japanese girl was offereing to let you do things to her that were illegal in most countries would you say no?

I thought not.

“I think Oro really needs to start writing me more consistently. Sometimes I’m crazy, sometimes I’m evil. I mean, the other night he made me kidnap a teammates parents. Sometimes I get the feeling he uses me as a way to deal with his flawed perception of morality.”

And of course neither of them get it. Kidd just floats away to whore herself out and Baby sits there, crying. She should get this more than anyone, I mean, technically, when he made her, all he did was putt me and Kidd together. Female? Check. Morally flip-floppy? Double check.

”Why did he have to make me love teeth?” cries Baby, her forehead pressed against the table.

I’d stay and try to answer that question, but I see a Proto character coming. Time to get the hell out of dodge, and maybe find Kidd before she finds Spider-man.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Protoman on Jul 29, 2007, 2:07am

AMAZING. Simple as that, I love it.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Paige "Anima" O'Hara on Jul 29, 2007, 2:11am

Hah! I loved it. Great stuff. I have a powerful urge to rip you off now…


Re: Out of Character
Post by Last Hero on Jul 29, 2007, 2:11am

A lot of fun! Nice one!!


Re: Out of Character
Post by Protoman on Jul 29, 2007, 2:11am

As do I, TEO, as do I.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Joshua/Darya/Kara/Marcus on Jul 29, 2007, 2:13am

Hilarious. That was great.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 2:14am

Glad you guys liked it, I was a bit iffy using the first person (since it always feels like I miss out on writing stuff) but I was able to fit in all my little analyses/Proto jokes so it worked.

Feel free to rip it off, TEO, you'd probably do it so much better. Not you though Steve, we've already used up the good "Meghan is a whore" jokes.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Protoman on Jul 29, 2007, 2:14am

There were A LOT of jokes at my expense…and I love it. ;D


Re: Out of Character
Post by Pester on Jul 29, 2007, 2:15am

DAMMIT! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO THINK OF THIS!!! DAMN YOU ORO, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!

Now that that's out of my system, that thing was godly. And I don't just throw that word around. Very nicely done.

Oh, and… Does this mean he actually did kidnap Adam's parents?


Re: Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 2:18am

Jul 29, 2007, 2:15am, Pester wrote:DAMMIT! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO THINK OF THIS!!! DAMN YOU ORO, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!

Now that that's out of my system, that thing was godly. And I don't just throw that word around. Very nicely done.

Oh, and… Does this mean he actually did kidnap Adam's parents?

Thank you for the kind words and…errr…

<_<

Look. Let's not look into this so much. Adam didn't seem to care anyway, and it's not like one of the teachers wouldn't find them before they starved or died of thirst.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Pester on Jul 29, 2007, 2:21am

It doesn't bother me, I had no plans for them anyway. Adam didn't really care, and I personally just assumed Dillon was lying.

Though you may want to clear it with a character's player the next time your character binds and tortures his relatives :D


Re: Out of Character
Post by Lisa "Nephy" Nephrahim on Jul 29, 2007, 2:23am

I blame myself. I've pretty much told him he can do whatever he wants to Nephy.

Also, Excellent Fanfic Oro. They got all the good comments so far, so that's all I can say.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 2:24am

Jul 29, 2007, 2:21am, Pester wrote:Though you may want to clear it with a character's player the next time your character binds and tortures his relatives :D

Heh. Yeah, he didn't really kidnap them, I mean that'd be pretty reprehensible (even for the New Mutants West) I just thought it'd be a funny thing to stick in the 'fic since I couldn't think of anything particularly bad I've made Dil do or say recently (at least, nothing as bad as that)


Re: Out of Character
Post by Lisa "Nephy" Nephrahim on Jul 29, 2007, 2:28am

You still don't care he killed that clone, huh?


Re: Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 2:31am

Jul 29, 2007, 2:28am, Lisa "Nephy" Nephrahim wrote:You still don't care he killed that clone, huh?

I keep telling you clones aren't alive since they don't have souls. >:(


Re: Out of Character
Post by Joshua/Darya/Kara/Marcus on Jul 29, 2007, 2:31am

Joshua has a soul! Clone Marcus had a soul!


Re: Out of Character
Post by Lisa "Nephy" Nephrahim on Jul 29, 2007, 2:34am

They um… really do.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 2:37am

Jul 29, 2007, 2:34am, Lisa "Nephy" Nephrahim wrote:They um… really do.

Well the soul's a pretty abstract concept. It could be something that really does leave us when we die and go on to the next plane, or it could simply be our collected life experience/personality/blah-blah-blah.

Dillon's just a murderer. Is that what you want to hear? Gosh. :'(


Re: Out of Character
Post by Meisha "Muse" Aisha on Jul 29, 2007, 9:24am

But… he is….

He killed that Senator and Marisol….

I love this. It reminds me of something Morrison did that I'm going to use at some point with the Hellions.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Ixnay on Jul 29, 2007, 10:07pm

I've considered many times exactly how hard Gerald Stryker would kick my ass if he were real.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Orchestra the Mighty on Jul 29, 2007, 10:35pm

Jul 29, 2007, 10:07pm, Ixnay wrote:I've considered many times exactly how hard Gerald Stryker would kick my ass if he were real.

Truth be told, I don't think any of our characters wouldn't not kick our asses if we ever had to meet them.

That said, he'd probably start by kicking you in the nuts and working his way up to the face.


Re: Out of Character
Post by Pester on Jul 29, 2007, 11:46pm

Pester wouldn't kick my ass. I got him laid.

Neither would Adam, he saw 5 girls naked under my watch.


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