New Mutants Unlimited 31

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New Mutants Unlimited #31
Post by Protoman on Jan 11, 2007, 8:37pm

Coming straight to you from Oro and myself!

Title: Snitching

Cover Description: A gigantic Dillan holding Jubilee in the palm of one hand, while Lex is on his knees begging in the other.


Dillan sighs as he watches Warren walk off into the mansion to…well…most likely nail Psylocke.

"So I take it you're going to head in there in nail your baby's momma?" Dil asked, before cutting off any answer Lex could've given him. "Oh wait, they'll be no sex for you once she hears about this little mess."

"Yes, because if there was sex to begin with I'd really have been doing that," Lex responds sarcastically. "But anyway, Dillan, you can't tell Jubilee. That's all there is to it."

"Huh, that's funny. You didn't seem to care about Jubes that much when stood here COCKBLOCKING me!" screamed Dillan. "Man, I totally had her too, you don't even know. I took her to the god damned future, and freaking ice cream that shrinks you. How'd you even get Jubes anyway? Did you take her into the danger room after hours and give her some wine coolers or something?"

"Regardless, I'm telling her."

"No, you aren't. I swear I have a explanation for everything." Lex stops talking for a minue and grabs Dillan's arm. "Seriously, it's the pain killers. The morphine makes me do crazy things."

"Bullshit!" he screamed, punching Lex in the face and then watching him rub the spot. "See, I know that had to hurt. Just admit it, you're tired of rocking that 11 so you decided to upgrade to a nice 15. It's not big deal, but the fact of the matter is, if you're tired of her I can take her off your hands and I'm suuuuuuuuuure this news will help." he laughed teleporting closer to the mansion entrance.

"Ok, I probably deserved that." Lex said as he hobbles towards Dillan. "Ok ok, it was Exodus. He was in my head again?"

"HEY JUBES!" screams Dil, knowing the Jubilee, most likely in the kitchen getting a snack would hear him.

"That one almost could've worked, but if it had been the case you'd probably be getting in on with Kelly right now. Apparenly Exodus is some sort of mega-pimp. Guess that's how they made 'em back in the day."

"Shit shit shit! Dillan! Quiet down, she can't know about this!" Lex almost yells. "If you tell her…she WILL kill me." Lex is almost pleading now.

"Da hrell do joo want Dill!?" screamed Jubes, her mouth filled with food. She began approaching the two young men, hobbling down the hall at a steady pace.

"Jubilation Lee, boy do I have a tale to tell you."

"Whatever he says, I didn't do it!" Lex exclaims as Jubilee gets closer to them. He braces himself for what Dillan is about to say, still praying that he won't say it.

Dillan grinned before he opened his mouth. "Girl, you've got to keep your man on a shorter leash. I really think those painkillers have gotten to him, came at me from behind while I was taking a walk and called me a "fine nubian princess." Might wanna get him into bed."

"I did not hit on he-what? Yeah…I gotta get to bed," Lex glared at Dillan. As he walked by, toward Jubilee he whispered in Dillan's ear. "I will kill you for this…"

As Lex walked away Dillan grabbed his wrist and time froze around them.

"Are you trying to make me go back in time and blow your spot up? Get to bed and be thankful you have a great friend." he stated, reverting things to normal.

"G'night preggy, lexy."

Lex whispers once more as he continues towards Jubilee, "Thanks. I owe you one."

"Damn right you do," Dillan whispers back, taking off for his room. He's barely half-way up the stairs when he stops himself, more out of annoyance than anything else.

"Hell on Earth, how long are you two idiots going to act like I can't hear you talking?" he questioned as time froze around him and the older versions of himself and Lex that had seemingly been stalking around the mansion for days revealed themselves.

"Told you not to make so much noise." chatized the alternate Dillan.

"Couldn't help." replied Lex, wiping a tear from his eye. "Watching you desperately try and pick up Kelly was too much to bear."

"We shouldn't be here anyway," the older Dillan states. "We still have to finish the mission in this time." He throws his hand over his mouth after speaking.

"Great job genius," the older Lex says sarcastically.

"Mission?" Younger Dillan asks, clearly intrigued. "Ok, what's going on? I've had enough of this."

The older Lex sighs, "Very well, if you promise not to tell…me…"

"Yeah, no problem," he replys.

"Ok, this is basically how it lays out," Lex begins. "In a few years, something will destroy the New Mutants…."

-The End-


Re: New Mutants Unlimited #31
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star" Lisa on Jan 11, 2007, 9:19pm

Good, fun story - nice to see Lex get his ass kicked mentally and verbally a bit


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