Fan Fiction » Mini series » Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of 9)
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Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of 9)
Post by Last Hero on Jun 6, 2007, 9:17pm
Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9
Cover – A simple black cover with the words, "Ten Years Later…"
Title: The Definition of Insanity
Written by – blackmore and havok3595
Note: Can't believe we finally finished this. This whole mini series was more than a little self-indulgant, but aton of fun to write. Hope you guys enjoy it!
Epilogue:
"Do you have any Pokemon-X cards?"
The shop's owner looked over the top of his glasses at the bug eyed kid staring up at him.
The owner nodded, smiling widely, "Of course we do, little man." He reached behind the counter and pulled out a big book of trading cards, opening it before the kid. "The marked prices are for foolish parents who just plan on selling them later on to try and put their kids through college. For you, just take off the last zero."
The owner watched the kid flip through the book, picking out a bunch of cards. He tried to keep quiet, but he'd never really been all that good at it, "So…err…what's with you kids and cards these days? None of you have any interest in comics?"
The kid barely glanced up, "Nah! Superheroes are lame!"
The owner almost laughed out loud at that, "Really? You went to the movies last week, I assume?"
The kid looked up, "Of course I did! Everyone did!"
The owner smirked slightly, "And what did you go to see?"
"New Mutants 2: The Wrath of Timmy! Duh!"
"A superhero movie?"
The kid shook his head, "NO WAY! New Mutants aren't dumb old superheroes. They are just awesome!! Didn't you see it??"
The owner sighed, "Didn't need to. I already know how the story goes…"
The kid gaped at the owner, "You must be the only person in Seattle who hasn't seen it yet."
The owner laughed, "You're probably right. Even my in-laws managed to sneak in a showing."
The kid shook his head slightly. "You gotta see it, man. That Incubus guy is TIGHT."
"People still use 'tight?' Anyway, I hate to break it to you, but the most anyone really cared about Incubus in the real world was figuring out who got to keep his motorcycle. They get it all wrong in the movies…"
"Wrong?" the kid replied, obviously confused. "No, man, the movie was the best ever. I mean, they've got a cool fire guy, and he's so badassed that he just wants to kill everything. Your dorky old superheroes don't do that. I mean, sometimes the bad guys have to pay, you know? Or they'll just keep coming back."
The owner sighed. "Oh, god, like I didn't hear this enough times from the real Lex, er, sorry, Heatwave. As far as I know, for all his talk about killing people, he never actually did it. Although Gerald's dad did die in a really suspicious way…"
"Oh, the crazy psychic guy!" said the kid. "Yeah, he was awesome too."
"Trust me, he was much better when he wasn't crazy. Legacy Virus did a number on his noggin, you know, but once he got resurrected, he was fine."
"Legacy Virus?" asked the kid. "What's that?"
The owner smiled deeply, "I can't tell you how happy I am that you don't know that. It was a big problem for mutants for a while…it's what drove Gerald crazy, some other people died from it…heck, he died from it, but he got better."
"Dude!" said the kid. "Don't tell me how it ends!"
The owner rolled his eyes. "That's the thing. It never ends. It just keeps going. They keep picking up new people and dropping old people, but the team stays. And keeps fighting the good fight. And every now and then one of them will come up here and visit. Maybe sign something."
He pointed to the glass case in front of the counter, with a few highly priced comics on display. "Take this one for instance…" He pulls out a copy of New Mutants 112, a label on it says "First Heaven, First Rapt." A large signature on the cover contains three Chinese characters and the word "Heaven," on closer inspection there's a second name clearly overwritten by this. It's hard to tell what it could have been, but my guess would be it was Rapt.
"Who's Heaven?" asked the kid. "He's not in any of the movies."
"She," corrected the owner, with a wistful look, "And she was supposed to be in the second movie. It just didn't happen."
"Why not?"
The owner grinned, "Mostly because she threatened to kick the director's ass when he turned her into a hardened Japanese badass special ops assassin instead of just a misguided religious Chinese teenager. And the actress they picked was no where near as hot as the real Heaven…"
"How do you know so much about her?"
"She's…well, she's my wife."
The kid began to laugh. "You? Married a superhero? Seriously?"
At that moment, a twenty something Chinese woman entered the store, leading a young girl, "There's no way anyone would ever believe you married a superhero," the woman said. "I've told you that before."
"I bet he gets more laughs with the next line," said her ten year old daughter quietly.
"You know, if I wanted to be heckled, I would have asked Statler and Waldorf to pick up lunch," The owner turned to the kid and said, "Ignoring the two ridulous females, yes I married a superhero…because I WAS a superhero."
After getting over the initial shock of seeing not one but two females in a comic shop, the kid looked at the store owner incredulously for a moment, then laughed harder. "Good one," he replied. "Yeah, I'm a superhero too."
The girl turned to her mother and said, "Never fails…"
The owner shrugged, "Hey, believe what you want. All that matters is that I have a gorgeous wife and a perfect daughter…both of whom seem content in driving me insane with mindless jabbering. But, hey, at least they always bring me lunch on the way home from school. It's a good life, if you don't mind vegetarian stuff."
While Mike was distracted, the kid slipped a few cards in his pocket until a loud voice popped up in his head Dude? You really wanna do that with two former superheroes standing less than five feet from you? The kid turned pale white and handed Mike the money for the cards, plus a little extra, "Thanks for stopping by! Tell your friends!" Mike said as the kid hurried outside.
Mike walked around the counter and smiled at Glenda and Amelia, wrapping them both up in an unashamed hug, "SO…no chance of getting out of dinner tonight?"
Amelia laughed, brushing her hair out of eyes, "Your parents flew all the way from Jersey…what do you think?"
Mike groaned, "Can't we just lie and say we had a huge shipment and we all needed to work late?"
"Oh, yes, like I'd lie to your PARENTS. When I first met you, you couldn't wait to bring whoever would go to visit them…now, you'd rather they stay on the opposite coast," said Amelia.
"See, that's the thing," replied Mike. "When we visit them, it's going home. When they come out here, they…get a little embarrassing. 'What's up with that Space Needle thing? Are you hanging out with those grunge people? Do you ever see Bill Gates?' I just…it gets a little frustrating'. And it's not like we have all that much room for them!"
"Oh, they're adorable. I love when they come out. And we have plenty of room. We both grew up in a lot smaller apartments than we have now. And you wouldn't deny Glenda spending as much times as possible with Grandma and Grandpa Placio, would you? She LOVES them," replied Amelia.
"Yeah, dad," interjected their daughter, with big puppy dog eyes. "You wouldn't deny me seeing grandma and grandpa, would you?"
Mike sighed. "You're teaching her all the wrong things, Amelia."
Amelia smiled sweetly. "Would you rather she learned how to guilt trip people from me, or on the street?"
Mike sighed. "It's not like I don't miss my parents…but…" Mike sighed. Mike glanced at Glenda, and ended up tele-sending to Amelia, "I just get tired of them asking, 'When are you going to give Glenda a little brother or sister'…or them trying to push the idea of moving back to Jersey."
Glenda tugged on Mike's arm, "No fair!! I hate when you guys do that!"
Mike leaned down and kissed Glenda on the top of head, "Sorry, yucky adult stuff!"
Glenda took an exaggerated step back, "Gross!"
Mike was just about to answer when a very pale man entered the store. "So, you guys ever get any REAL superheroes around here?" he said.
Glenda ran to him quickly with a big hug. "Uncle Zeph! What are you doing here?"
Zephyr returned the hug and smiled at his friends and their daughter. "Just came out west to put the nails to Justin Hammer. Thought I'd stop by. What is it with this town and evil corporations, anyway? Justin Hammer, Microsoft, Starbucks…I think Amazon's out here too, and they always trick me with shipping."
Amelia smiled. "Hey, if you're here, that's got to mean…"
Zephyr nodded. "Mar's around, but I let her know that TWO women in a comic shop was pushing things, if tried for three, the universe would implode. She'll catch up later." He wandered over to a display and picked up a packaged toy. "Look, I come with Cyclone Action! That's much better than the original copy: 'Zephyr: He really blows!'"
Amelia stared daggers at him. "Zephyr, not in front of Glenda."
"Like I haven't heard worse, mom," replied her daughter.
Amelia still looked at him icily. "And Marisol better not be out buying a present for Glenda. Again. Seeing you…"
"…is gift enough," everyone finished simultaneously.
Amelia turned red. "All the same, she better not be," said Amelia with a curt nod.
"Actually, don't worry, she isn't. It's actually something for you. Hey, Mikey, remember when you came in this morning and some old lady called you with irritating questions about New Mutants: Wave Three?" said Zephyr with a wink.
"Boy do I…if there's one thing I hate it's toy coll…hey, wait, that was you?"
"Guilty," said Zephyr. "Couldn't ruin the surprise. What kind of comic shop only sells figures on commission? What is that, anyway?"
"Basically, some dude buys a case to get the rare figures and sells the rest here, sharing the profits," replied Mike.
"Oh, then it wouldn't have worked anyway," said Zephyr. "So, Mar's scouring toy shops for the 'chase' first appearance Heaven. We almost got the common 'movie concept' one, but figured we wanted to be invited out again."
Mike grunted, "Hey, at least you guys all get figures made."
Zephyr and Amelia cracked up. Zephyr said, "Oh come on, they'll eventually get to making THE MIGHTY CHI!!"
"Dude, they made Maxwell's Demon already! I was at least more important than that guy…"
Glenda hugged him tightly, "I'd buy a Chi figure, dad!"
"Thanks, kiddo."
"You're welcome. Can I get a dollar?"
Mike chuckled at Zeph, "See, what I have to live with?"
"Poor, poor Mikey. So wanna grab dinner and a movie while we're in town?"
Mike sighed, "Love to, but my parents are here. But, mom's cooking, and you know she'll make enough food to feed the neighborhood. Dinner our place, 7 O Clock!"
"Sounds good! We'll catch up to you later." Zephyr stepped outside, and immediately a crowd started gathering around him for autographs. Mike even noticed the kid who was talking about how lame superheroes were…didn't stop him from being first in line to get pictures taken with Zephyr.
Mike locked up the store, flashed Zephyr a quick smile and wave. Amelia, Mike, and Glenda walked passed the crowd, enjoying their quiet anonymous little life. Mike looked at Amelia and nudged her slightly, "Adventure…excitement. A Jedi craves not those things."
Amelia and Glenda both groaned in mock exasperation, but neither of them couldn't keep from smiling.
The title is too long
Post by Nick Nephrahim on Jun 6, 2007, 9:22pm
Final-freaking-ly.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Last Hero on Jun 6, 2007, 9:25pm
You think you've been waiting a while…born and I wrote the first part on…May 22nd.
The board keeps telling me the title is to long
Post by Nick Nephrahim on Jun 6, 2007, 9:26pm
Actualy, that seems about right.
It's nine parts. I'm not complaining it took too long for it's lenth, I'm just glad it's done.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Risk on Jun 9, 2007, 2:36pm
Lex gets a mention but I don't? Hmph!
That's it, say goodbye to Mike's brains!
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Risk on Jun 9, 2007, 2:36pm
Jun 9, 2007, 2:36pm, Risk wrote:That's it, say goodbye to Mike's brains!
Wait a second, that really, really doesn't work…
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Protoman on Jun 9, 2007, 3:46pm
Awesome, simply awesome.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Last Hero on Jun 11, 2007, 9:20am
Jun 9, 2007, 2:36pm, Risk wrote:Lex gets a mention but I don't? Hmph!
That's it, say goodbye to Mike's brains!
Poor Seph's been dead almost ten and a half years, and he died betraying the team. I imagine that is a story the team would fight to keep off the big screen ;)
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Pester on Jun 11, 2007, 9:29am
And Lex only gets mentioned because he was in the team movie. Hence Pester's lack of mention, he had his very own franchise when his popularity grew too great. Sephula got a part in the movie as Thug #4, so everybody's happy.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Risk on Jun 11, 2007, 9:32am
You should be quiet. I can't go after Michael, because he doesn't have any brains for me to eat, but Pester does ::).
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Pester on Jun 11, 2007, 9:35am
That's it. It's on. Sephula is getting resurrected, and Pester is beating his ass. Set a date.
*Goes to work on the Rowdy armor*
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Risk on Jun 11, 2007, 9:38am
Neeeeeeeeeever gonna happen :).
Dead is dead is dead.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Pester on Jun 11, 2007, 9:40am
Nonononono. I'm getting that match, if Pester has to raise Sephula from the ground.
Or I'll make it an Untold Spar. Either way; better put on your abuse hat, cuz you's gonna get raped.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Risk on Jun 11, 2007, 9:43am
*shrug* You can go beat on my corspe if you want. It's the closest I think you'll get.
Oh, wait…
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Pester on Jun 11, 2007, 9:51am
Nuh uh. Like, 18 characters have dug up somebody else's corpse. When Pester kicks your ass, it's going to be new and original. Because the fans demanded it. The fans being me.
Re: Heaven/Chi – The Definition of Insanity #9 (of
Post by Risk on Jun 11, 2007, 10:12am
*Nods* Whatever you say, crazy.
