A Madman's Dream: Post Mission #17

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A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 4:50pm

The Hellions are back in Wreck's repaired room, along with Sara and Zephyr. Wreck is apparently sleeping peacefully on the bed, with no signs of what just happened present anywhere around.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 4:53pm

"I don't get it, I was in my bedroom and then I was being chased by midgets and gremlins?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Marisol Morales on Jul 21, 2007, 4:56pm

"Welcome to the X-Men. Or welcome back." I shrug. "Guess that stuff I heard about you getting amnesia was true."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 4:57pm

Sara's face turns red as she nods

"Yu-huh, I'm Sara."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 4:59pm

"He knows," I say quietly, sitting in the corner, still watching Wreck. "He used to take you flying."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Marisol Morales on Jul 21, 2007, 5:02pm

"Yeah, good times." I focus back on my man over there. "Is Wreck going to be all right? I mean…as all right as he typically is?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 5:03pm

Sara keeps blushing and turtles her head into her shirt as she sits down next to Kelly, trying to hide her face


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:04pm

"I don't know… I hope so. He has to be. No, he will. He definitely will."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:06pm

Click. Click.

Wreck's eyes open. Slowly, he sits up, glancing around.

"….it's my best friend. And girl I met once, but was nice. And Kelly, who isn't dead. This is a good dream. Even if it's only a dream inside of a worse dream."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Meisha "Muse" Aisha on Jul 21, 2007, 5:06pm

[For the record, Zephyr and Sara can stay as long as the players want until the end of the next mission, or leave as soon as the players want. As both of you must know, it doesn’t actually affect any chronology or continuity outside of Hellions until, you guessed it, the end of the next mission.]


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:08pm

I look away from Wreck, down at Sara, and give her a hug.

"Hey, honey. Are you okay there?"

Wreck’s voice gets my attention, and my gaze goes back up to him.

"It isn’t a dream," I beam.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 5:10pm

"I went'ta bed in my bed and I woke up in a strange place, and I don't know anybody here 'sides you, and I don't know if the last time I saw you was real or not"

Sara's eyes are still uncovered by her shirt, and express her confusion as her shirt muffles the words.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:13pm

Wreck is quiet for a moment. Then tosses Kelly a huge hug.

"That's kind of what happened to me too. I wouldn't think about it too much. Just roll with what comes."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:16pm

"The last time I saw you Sara… it might not have seemed real. Empathy’s like that. But you got the memories back to prove it, didn’t you?"

I find myself in the middle of a hug-huddle between Wreck, Sara and myself, and just bow my head, smiling to myself.

"He told us we’d lost you."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:18pm

"He wasn't lying. You did lose me. And then he brought me back."

Wreck bows his head too, staring wide eyed at nothing.

"….thank you."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 5:19pm

Sara finds herself still lost, and a little hurt as she tries to be happy for the guy she can't remember having ever met before. Empathy, as weird as that was, it wasn't what she meant, that part she knew to be real.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Marisol Morales on Jul 21, 2007, 5:22pm

"Hey, Sara." I motion for her to follow me out the room. "Let's give them some private time, okay. Been a rough day. Come on, I'll fill you in on some things."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:22pm

"You should sleep after that."

I let go of everyone and shuffle slightly further back into the corner.

"Sara, you don't- are you okay?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 5:23pm

"A-alright"

She tries to smile at Zephyr and practically bolts out of the room at his suggestion, more embarrassed then anything else.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:31pm

"What happened?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:36pm

"I don't know. You said something about sleeping with Dillon. Then my brain went bye bye. Whether that was from what you said or from the ice cream scoop, I don't know. I could still hear everything, until you got yourself killed. Then I didn't really feel like struggling quite so much. And that was the end, until it wasn't the end anymore. I think I'm rambling. I do that a lot."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 5:37pm

"N-n-nothin! Jus gonna catch up with….."

She starts struggling to remember Zephyr's name and gets even more embarrassed, her eyes flickering as she gets out of sight, this is not her morning/afternoon/night/she has no clue


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:38pm

"I think you are," I whisper back, resting my head on his chest. "Sleeping with-? It’s what Blight was talking about. With that other thing. I don’t even know… I don’t even understand."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:43pm

He gives her a kiss.

"I don't think any of it matters much. We've got another chance. Everything turns out okay, so long as you don't get buried in the not okay. It's the same thing I told Crazy Russian Lady, but it's as true now as it was then."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:46pm

"I know, but… we have bad things happen everyday. Dangerous things. Anyone of us could get knocked down and not get back up. It’s not something that any of us like thinking about, but it’s true. But if you can get back up – if you can at least try to get back up, then you have to. To try, at least. You can’t just give up if you see someone else not get back up. You can’t just not get back up yourself." I hit him feebly on the chest, forcing tears back.

"How could you be so stupid as to not try to get back up?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:51pm

"Because you didn't get back up. It wasn't fair."

He hugs her close again.

"….and it looked like my only chance to make it all go away," he adds quietly. "Forever without you. Forever would have been a long time. I can't go to heaven to meet you. It doesn't want me there."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:53pm

"You’re wrong. It does. And I told you, you can’t stay down just because someone else can’t get back up again, no matter who it is. It’s stupid!"

I pause and shut my eyes, not saying anything for a moment. But then something pops into my head, and after my time… it’s something I have to know.

"Where did you go?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 5:56pm

"…..nowhere. Best way to describe it. I didn't have a consciousness. Didn't have a soul. Or if I did, I'd managed to turn it off. The lights were off, and no one was home."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 5:58pm

"Nowhere…." I echo, no longer whispering. "I can’t imagine that."

I look up, at the door.

"We chased Zephyr and Sara away."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 6:05pm

"I think they wanted us to be alone. Can't imagine why."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 6:07pm

"Maybe they’ve gone crazy," I giggle. "It’s not that much of a longshot."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 6:10pm

"I'm starting to think crazy's a really relative term," Wreck says with another kiss. "Just wacky perspectives, but we're all looking at the same thing."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 6:12pm

"You need to leave this room," I tell him, taking on a serious expression. "If only for a little while. And you need to speak with other people. I’ll talk to you later."

I get up and leave the room.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Wreck on Jul 21, 2007, 6:24pm

Blinking, Wreck shrugs. Walks out into hallway. Glances around at it, which proves to be totally empty.

"……other people? Hello? I'm bad at this."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 7:22pm

After leaving the room, I catch up with Sara.

"Hey…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 9:42pm

Sara wound up at the front door, looking outside.

"H-hey"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 9:43pm

I give her a light nudge so that she ends up outside the door, and I follow her out.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit… iunno…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 9:46pm

"It's just weird. This feels like the second time that I've gone to bed lately and woken up wherever you are, and I don't get it. I'm supposed to be in England, I mean, I think I got class in the morning, and instead I'm…..where are we?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 9:49pm

"Right now? I'm not sure. I think we're in Oregon, but don't quote me on that. Second time?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 9:51pm

"Guess it was just a dream."

Sara laughs a bit, silently hurt by the realization but trying to hide it as best as she can manage.

"Don't worry about it…..why are you in Oregon?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 9:54pm

"At least you were somewhere safe in the dream… slightly less like this place."

I look outwards, and realise just how little I know about this place… and grasp the possibility that anything - another Thunderbolts team, anything - could jump out at any moment. And with Sara right here.

"I wouldn't ever let anything happen to you, you know that, right?" I turn to her after saying that, and a sigh leaves my lips a moment later. "Why are we in Oregon? I'm not sure where we were before, but we're trying to get to the Mansion."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:00pm

"Just hoped it was real"

She tries to hide her words before speaking up

"I guess….but I don't know why or how I'm here in the first place. I'm supposed to be on the other side of the world, and for some reason here I am."

She lets out a little sight and rubs the back of her neck

"Weren't you in Nevada before? The mansion is east, not west"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:05pm

"We were in Nevada a while ago. That wasn't where we decided to head for the mansion from - we were actually just still running from SHIELD. Wound up being attacked by some supervillains SHIELD had hired, and that's about when we started heading for the Mansion."

I pause and look outwards again.

"Things'll work themselves out, Sara. You've just got to hope for it. You'll be where you need to be, when you need to be there."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:07pm

"What does that even mean?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:12pm

"Oh, sweetheart." I hug her and then let go, holding onto her shoulders and looking her in the eyes.

"It means don't worry so much. Things'll be alright."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:17pm

Do I ever worry like this when she isn't around? That's all she can think about, but the hands are slightly comforting.

"What happened to you Kel?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:19pm

"What happened to me? What do you mean, Sara?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:20pm

Sara puts a hand up on Kelly's side and looks at her, biting her lip lightly

"A couple weeks ago I just knew you as the girl from the picture I couldn't remember, and then it's like you're a part of me and talking to me and I can just remember stuff. Then there's….doesn't matter, and then I wake up here again, and you're in trouble, and I don't even know I'm rambling."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:26pm

I rub her cheek and smile warmly.

"I'm always in trouble, sweetie. Don't worry about it. Alex would tell you it's because I won't stop trusting everyone and anyone, but it's really just because I have bad luck with that sometimes. And as for why you're here? I told you that you'd be where you need to be when you need to be, didn't I?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:29pm

"But that doesn't make any sense!"

She grabs at her forehead and turns around, eyes sparking

"ItmakessensetoyouandIdontevenknowwhybutmylifeisboringcomparedtothisandImfreakingoutoverherewhileyoureallsmilesandIdo ntevenknowwheremyclothescamefrom!"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:31pm

I shrug, still smiling.

"Well, that's easy! You needed clothes, so you came with them!"

I sigh, but maintain the smile.

"It doesn't really make sense to me either, but it's best to just work with what you've got. And boring can be good, too."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:34pm

"MybrainreallyhurtsIthinkIthinkIIIdon'tevenknow"

She sighs and falls to the ground, sitting there looking at her legs


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:36pm

I sit down beside her, rubbing her shoulder.

"I know it's confusing. Lord knows I spend most of my time confused by something or other. And I know it's hard to not think about it, especially when you're so confused, but it really is the best thing to do."

I tilt my head to one side.

"Would you rather be here or home right now? I bet you if you made a wish, shut your eyes and went to sleep, you'd be the place out of the two you want to be."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:38pm

"It's not the Wizard of Oz Kelly, it's life. And I'm just trying and failing to make some sense out of it."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:41pm

"Anything can happen, Sara," I giggle. "Didn't you learn that just right now?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:42pm

"I guess….I just don't know how much of my mem'ry to trust, or how much of what I see or say or do. This is just crazy,"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:43pm

"Crazy is indefinable at this point, Sara. I know you lost some of your memory, but why wouldn't you trust something that you remember?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:47pm

"Cause when you get involved I don't know what I 'member!"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:48pm

"Why is it any different when I'm involved?" I ask, my calm tone not betraying my confusion.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:50pm

"Cause some stuff I think happens and it does, and other stuff doesn't, and I already thought I was goin crazy"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:54pm

"Some stuff you think happens, but doesn't? Like what?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 10:55pm

"It'd sound totally stupid and I don't even know, I mean, I only even started thinking about it cause I saw you, but maybe it should just be some dream."

She's babbling.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 10:58pm

"I doubt it would be stupid, but you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Tell me, do you want to be here, or home? Because if you want to be home, I'm sure we could find a way of getting you there, even if you don't want to try wishing and going to sleep." I shrug, smiling sweetly.

"I'm sure that would work too, though."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 11:00pm

"……."

Just say it already

"The last time I 'member seeing you, I went to bed with you and woke up alone, and I cried for three hours."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 11:07pm

I hug her quickly again, upset by the thought of her crying.

"I don't get it, but I'm sorry that happened. But if going to sleep together was all it was, we could just get some sleeping bags from inside and camp out here for the night! It'll be fun! Unless some animals come along and wake us up, but I'm sure they won't do that."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 11:52pm

"Wrong kind of sleep Kelly."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 11:55pm

"Bawhahuh?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 21, 2007, 11:57pm

"Y-yeah, it was like that."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 21, 2007, 11:59pm

The problem with that is I don't know what 'like that' is like. I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Ooo-kay… like… what?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 12:06am

She has to be kidding, no one can be that innocent. She knows Meghan, she knew me. And all I remember about her is having a crush that I thought she knew about. Fuck

"What else is there?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 12:15am

"What else is there? Hm… what else, what else… well, we were going to give SHIELD back the Thunderbolts that they sent after us. I guess we should do that at some point. But Mr. Banner said he had a special idea for how to do that…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 12:19am

"I didn't mean….."

She shakes her head a bit and laughs

"Why do I always feel like the mature one when I hang out with you?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 12:22am

I do that head tilt thing again.

"… you do?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 12:23am

"Kinda, I guess, there's just stuff that I don't get why you don't get."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 12:29am

I turn my hands up and shrug, still smiling cheerily.

"I don't know. I guess I just think differently than you!"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 12:39am

"I guess….."

She turns away slightly and sighs


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 12:40am

"Wjat's wrong?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:21am

"Nothin, I'm just being stupid again, don't worry about it."

She shrugs

"I wish Mark was here."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:27am

"That would be nice, wouldn't it? I wonder what decides who comes and who doesn't," I yawn.

"I'm just glad that Dillon didn't come."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:28am

"What's wrong with Dil?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:30am

"It- it’s a long story. You wouldn’t want to hear it."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:31am

"Spill. Now."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:34am

"I… did you know that I died? I died once before, actually, and a lady named Dagger saved me, but I died again, more recently."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:34am

"You…..died?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:36am

[Gah! Dagger! Dagger! Not Dazzler!]

"Yeah." I give a slight nod. "I still don’t have any idea how I came back, and until yesterday, I didn’t know how I died, either."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:39am

"What happened?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:44am

"I- alright, what you have to remember is that something was very, very wrong…. They weren’t- things weren’t making sense, and from what I was told, neither of us was acting like us, and he would never do this if something hadn’t made him. And I said things… I don’t know why, but apparently I said things that hurt him, things that I would never say. There was something – something was making things wrong.

"Dillon killed me. He smashed my head into the wall until I died."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:45am

She just stares up at her blankly.

"D-d-dil wouldn't do that…h-he couldn't…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:49am

"No. Shh…. Exactly."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:51am

Sara has the sudden urge to punch her

"Y-you just t-told me that my b-big bro killed you."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:54am

"I- I don't know what to say, Sara…. You asked me to tell you."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:54am

"When"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 1:57am

"When? I don't know…. I was told it was about the middle of last week. It- you've got to remember that something was making it happen. I don't know what, and I don't know how, but it doesn't make sense any other way."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:00am

"My dream was the begining of last week. I wasn't being myself in it."

She stonewalls it


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:02am

"I don't understand. What are you saying?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:04am

"Dillon lives down the hall from me Kelly. I've seen him in class all week. So how did he get here and do that, something so…..not Dillon, but be in class all week without looking like anything happened."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:06am

I shut my eyes, clutching my temples.

"I don't know, Sara. I already told you that it doesn't make sense. It wouldn't make sense for him to do it in the first place, but it happened. Something was making him do it, and I know it happened because of where I went and because I woke up in a cold, dark morgue drawer and had to hit my way out of it."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:08am

Sara quickly grabs at Kellys hands and clutches them tight

"How do you remember this?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:10am

I raise my bandaged hand.

"I remember this because I only woke up in the morgue a few days ago. And because I'll never forget the warmth of where I was, or seeing my parents there."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:25am

"I don't know what to say."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:27am

"That’s okay. I don’t really, either."

I sigh and a beat passes.

"Is it wrong that I don’t want to be here anymore? That I just… want to be back there, and stay there?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:27am

"You mean be dead?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:30am

"I… I guess so."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:35am

"………"

Sara hauls off and slaps her across the face before turning around and walking away, away from the bus, away from her, away from all of this. There is nothing to say.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:40am

I reel from the slap, and sit there silently for a moment. Stunned.

I get it – the response – I do. But she doesn’t understand. She wasn’t there. She couldn’t feel it. Doesn’t know what it was like.

I’m never going to forget it in my life, and I’d give anything to be back there.

I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’m not going to kill myself, or try to do anything risky – anything that I wouldn’t have done before. I’m not going to. But the fact is, I’ve died twice already in this life. The odds aren’t too slim that it’ll happen again… and I’d probably greet it if and when it comes.

Sara probably didn’t need to hear it, though.

I dash over to her.

"I’m sorry."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:45am

She doesn't turn around, she doesn't look, she doesn't even open her mouth. Just focus on the steps.

Left
Right
Left
Right

Just keep moving and eventually this bad dream ends.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:46am

"Sara. Sara."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:48am

She doesn't remember. Dillon killed her. She wishes she were dead. Why am I even here?

Left
Right
Left
Right

Don't let her in, don't let her get to you, just wake up, be home, did I go to bed alone last night?


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:50am

"Sara, you can’t keep ignoring me."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 2:55am

Damn it, why is she following me? Why am I not going faster? Am I supposed to hit her again?

Sara balls her fist up and bites down hard on her lip, breaking it open and letting the blood drip onto her chin. She slows down a bit without even realizing it.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 2:57am

"Sara stop! I’m sorry! I can’t help but feel the way I do! You didn’t feel it!"

I grab her by the shoulders and turn her to face me, then notice the blood.

"Oh, honey…."

I wipe as much of the blood away as I can and look at her, sadly.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 3:02am

Sara stares a hole through her before biting back down on her lip, this time on purpose, she wants it to bleed now. It's all she can do to keep herself from hitting Kelly again.

No more excuses, no more bullshit, nobody should ever want to be dead, and I should be saying all of this outloud but all I'd do is scream and hit.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 3:04am

"Stop it! Stop it!"

I jam my hand in between her teeth and her lip, so she bites me instead of ripping her lip open.

"I don’t want to be dead, okay? I just want to be back there."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 3:07am

She doesn't get it, she doesn't understand, she doesn't care, so why do I feel helpless?

She just keeps staring, not moving save for a shaking in her elbow and wrist as she digs her finger nails into her hand.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 3:09am

"Stop it!" I shriek, starting to cry. "Stop it! Just stop! Why are you doing that?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 3:11am

"Because it's this or hit you. Take your sprocking pick."

The blank look of earlier is now pure rage


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 3:13am

"Then hit me, just stop hurting yourself!"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 3:27am

"WHAT DO YOU FUCKING CARE?! YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD!"

She just breaks and screams before turning around and bolting with her speed on, just a few hundred yards before stumbling and landing, quickly rolling into a ball and digging away at her arms. Any scratch, any wound, she doesn't want to hurt herself and she knows that it will heal, but she wants the effect.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 3:28am

I break into a low flight and dash after her, dropping out of the air when I get to her and latching onto her, sobbing.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I don't want to die… I don't!"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 3:46am

Clawing away, blood from the arms, more from the lip, the hands aren't too well. The wounds keep closing up, why can't I just wake up? This is a nightmare


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 3:46am

"Sara, please stop… just stop… I don't understand why you're doing this…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 3:48am

"BECAUSE NONE OF THIS IS REAL!"

She just keeps digging away

"It can't be"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 3:50am

I shift tone, pinning her arms down to keep her from hurting herself.

"STOP IT!" I shriek again. "It is real! And I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I said! I don't want to die! Now stop hurting yourself!"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 4:09am

"YOU DON'T GET IT!"

She curls up and starts crying a bit, holding tight

«Back in an hour or so»


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 4:16am

I let go of her arms and kiss her on the forehead, hugging her again.

"Shh…" I shut my eyes and start singing softly and quietly.

"Abide with me; fast falls the eventide:
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide:
when other helpers fail, and comforts flee,
help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
change and decay in all around I see:
O thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need thy presence every passing hour;
what but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who like thyself my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe with thee at hand to bless;
ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if thou abide with me.

Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
shine through the gloom, and point me to the skies:
heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me."

I stop singing and let go of her for a moment, opening my eyes so that I can look at her.

"I don’t want to die, Sara. I don’t. I’m not afraid of death, though, and I understand it. I’ve died twice already, and the odds aren’t slim that it’ll happen again. I’m not going to leap into the path of a speeding train or anything, but I am going to accept it when it comes, and the only regrets I’ll have about it are the people I’ll be leaving behind – the people who have a special place in m heart. You’re one of those people, Sara.

"I don’t want to die, I swear. I just- I saw something beautiful – something unbelievably beautiful that showed me that I haven’t been hoping in vain for all of my life like most other people think I have been, and I wasn't ready to be pulled away from it like I was or as abruptly as I was. And… seeing it… it confused me. That’s all it is."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 12:09pm

"Stop….."

Sara keeps chanting her mantra to herself, I want to go home, I want to go home, but nothing happens,


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 12:13pm

"Shh… that's enough, Sara. I wish I could show you what it was like, but I can't. Nothing in this world can. Nothing in this world can even contain it. I shouldn't even be here, Sara. It's not right. It's not natural.

"But I am, and I don't plan on leaving you any time soon."

That would mean more if we didn't live half the world apart.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 1:09pm

"Leaving me? The closest I've ever felt to you wound up not being real, I'm not even sure this is real. I don't know what you want from me."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 4:05pm

"That makes two of us. I… I want to know why you reacted like that. What I said… it wasn't- it's not costing anyone anything but me, and just… living is costing me something better…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 4:09pm

"GAH!"

Sara pulls herself up and storms off infuriated,


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 4:13pm

I shake my head slightly and dash after her again in low flight.

"I don’t see what’s wrong, honey. I don’t want to be dead, or anything. I just want to be in heaven. I don’t mean right now. Just… whenever it happens. Is that something bad to wish for? Is it that I don’t deserve it, or something? I don’t get it."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 4:15pm

"Just forget it Kelly, just forget it. It doesn't matter."

She forces back the tears she wants to let flow and asks herself at what point did the poster child for immaturity start feeling like the adult


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 4:48pm

I hug her again and whisper.

"Shh… obviously it does, but I can’t get it till you tell me, Sara. If I’ve done something wrong, I need to know what I did."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 6:16pm

Sara just stands there, she can't think to return it, this whole thing is just driving her nuts.

"You've got empathy, why not just read me and find out."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 6:20pm

That does take me more than a little by surprise.

"I- are you sure? I don’t like doing that. It’s… an invasion of privacy."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 6:22pm

"….."

She's just too damn sweet

"I've got nothing to hide from you Kelly, ever."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 6:24pm

"Well… if you’re sure…."

I reach out for her, but it’s shaky. Shakier than usual. I haven’t been this sloppy with my empathy since before Ashton started helping me with it – I just can’t get a grasp on the connection. It takes a few minutes to establish it, and then a few more to be able to read through it.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 6:27pm

"I am…"

She doesn't quite know what to expect, but anything beats having to actually say what's on her mind.

Just little blips of her feelings shine through, strong memories of recent nights with Marcus, the ordeal with Nephy, the 'dream' of Kelly, even Meghan being around. All the things that get her heart beating, the memories that she holds close to her heart for whatever reason. They all stay right on the surface.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:04pm

It’s all kind of tumultuous to be honest. Like… like, have you ever seen a rendition of the play, Twelfth Night? The shipwreck scene? The storm in that. Or just any movie or anything with a really impressive storm scene.

It’s like that. There’re a lot of twists and turns, and it’s not easy to make much sense of any of it. There’re some familiar marks in it all, but the only one I can pick out for sure is Lisa’s….

But I get caught by the twists and thrown back. For a moment it feels like I can’t breathe. It takes a beat, but it passes, and I take in a lungful of air with a loud gasp.

"Oh…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:05pm

Headrush, major headrush

"Wh-what did you get….?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:14pm

"I- I’m not sure…"

It’s hard to get much more out than that while I’m still this dazed. I feel like I’m breathing through a straw or something or other and it’s hard to focus on any one thing – well, harder than usual, it’s hard enough normally, but… can’t really think….


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:15pm

Grrrrr

"Fine, everything, right?"

She's overly frustrated, hates having to tell everything, likes to leave it somewhat open to interpretation.

"Nephy almost killed me, Meghan is my new suite mate, Marcus and I had sex, and in my dream, so did we."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:18pm

I can think about the rest later – consider all of that later. It’s not what’s important now. What is… is this one thing that I can’t for the life of me grasp.

"Lisa- Lisa hurt you?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:19pm

"Y-yeah, she didn't know it was really me, but she almost tore me to pieces. We made peace though."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:21pm

I bring a hand to my forehead, rubbing it lightly. Even if she didn’t know it was Sara… that’s not the Lisa I know- why would she do that to anyone?

"W-why?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:23pm

"Dillon tried to splain it to me, she just needs to hurt something sometimes. She didn't know I was in there, she thought I was a hol'gram."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:28pm

"So she needed to hurt a hologram?"

I remember a sweet girl, who I can't understand wanting to, or needing to hurt anything or anyone….

"At least she didn't mean to hurt anyone real…"

I bow my head with a little shake, the rest of what Sara said already beginning to pass out of my mind, while I'm preoccupied with this thing about Lisa, and one other thing.

"There's- there's something that I still don't get. Do you mind… if I try to read you again?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:29pm

"That's what they told me. I was just happy that it wasn't cause she was mad at me."

She tries to smile rather unsuccessfully.

"And you don't gotta ask, you can just do it."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:33pm

"Okay… um… try to stay relaxed, please."

I place my hands gingerly at either side of her face, and try to get another reading. The connection's clearer this time, having just made one with her, but there's one specific thing that I'm trying to find.

I'm trying to find out about her reaction to… the things I was saying before.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:34pm

Kelly and death and heaven just illicit anger and frustration, disappointment mainly.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:37pm

Disappointment? What? … why?

I try pushing a little further to try and find something, anything, that could answer that question for me.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:38pm

Abandonment that Sara can't even remember flows freely through her


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:42pm

I let go and snap back out of it.

I'm pretty sure I got the message. Suicide. Someone in her past… but she was hazy on it. Does she even remember?

I hug her again, tightly.

She can't think that I'm going to do that, or that I would do that, can she? She's got to be displacing her feelings from that… right?

"Honey, I'm sorry…."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:45pm

Sara finally bothers to return it this time

"It's not your fault."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:52pm

I kiss her on the forehead and shut my eyes. I have no idea if I should tell her what I think I know… she should know about it, because it happened to her. It’s her right to. Who am I to keep it from her? Still, she’s almost definitely happier not knowing, and in that case, who am I to take that happiness from her?

I just don’t know what to do….

Instead of doing anything, I just end up repeating the sentence I said a moment ago, once more.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:56pm

"Don't…."

She's feeling vulnerable, her guard is down, she doesn't like it but can't help it


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 7:57pm

"Don't what?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 7:59pm

Sara's arms move away from Kelly and wrap tightly around her own chest

"Pologizin to pologize."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 8:01pm

"I'm not saying sorry just to say sorry. It-"

Stop. She doesn't need to hear it.

I extend an arm to her, getting up off of the floor.

"- come on, Sara. Let's go back to the bus."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 8:03pm

"I…."

She pauses and looks down

"I don't know."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 8:04pm

I finally start smiling cheerily again.

"Come on. Please. I've got someone for you to meet. The greatest person in the whole world. You'll love her."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 8:05pm

"……who?"


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 8:05pm

"You don't know her. Well, you met her before, but… you won't remember her. Her name's Kidd Taki."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 8:06pm

But she's dead, even I know that, and I don't even know how I know that! And why am I not saying this outloud!

"A-alright."


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Kelly Alecia "Star Girl" Lisa on Jul 22, 2007, 8:08pm

"Come on, then, slowpoke!" I grab her by the arm and pull her towards me, pulling her into the air as I start to rise.


Re: A Madman's Dream [Post Mission #17]
Post by Sara "Radical Dreamer" Lincoln on Jul 22, 2007, 8:10pm

"Gah!"

Sara just goes limp and lets Kelly take her


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